Inspiration Sometimes Comes Through Failure

Just over a year ago, I learned of an incredible woman, Diana Nyad.  She is known for her marathon titles in OW swimming around the world.  To me, she is so much more.   


As I pondered whether or not I would do an Ironman, Diana was training for her 103 mile swim from Cuba to Florida.  This was a swim she had tried 30 years ago and failed.  She was ready to try it again.  I followed her training and made a strange connection to her.  It was like a connection in the heart.  There was something about Diana, other than the fact that she was a bad ass, that caught my attention.  From what I could see through her blogs, she was down to earth, real, compassionate, and determined.  There was absolutely nothing superficial or fake about this woman. She never boasted or tooted her own horn, but constantly lifted up those around her.  I felt myself drawn to follow her and would silently cheer her on from my computer.  


I took a chance and tweeted her one day that I had signed up for IMTX and was completely worried about finishing the swim.  This was a completely true statement and the fear of not getting out of the water before the time cut off was eating me alive.  My biggest fear was failing.  I didn't want to let anyone down.  I'm not sure what response I expected from Diana.  What I got was something like, "You don't know until you give it a try...Dream!"  Here I was, tweeting this woman that has done so much in her lifetime, swims with Jellyfish, swims in OW at night, and swims for an unimaginable amount of time.  I was going to swim a little 2.4 mile OW swim.  Silly!  Not to Diana.  


It came time for Diana to start her swim.  I was excited for her and followed her FB, Twitter, and website online.  I felt guilty for going to bed that night just knowing she was still swimming!  Diana didn't make the swim.  It's not that she couldn't complete the swim.  There were so many variables she could not control.  I felt crushed for her.  I associated it with how I would feel if I didn't complete the IM.  In the days following Diana's event, I saw how gracefully she accepted the outcome and turned it into something positive.  She truly is an inspiration to me and gave me the calm that I needed to go into my IM knowing there would be several variables I could not control and that failure was a possibility, but not the end.  


After my completion of IMTX, Diana messaged me:


That's incredible, and so inspiring. Congratulations on everything you've achieved. Don't take anything for granted: your successes, your failures. You are in charge of you, and you can either make it or break it. Remember to never give up on yourself. Doing so will lead to inevitable failure. There is so much truth to "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Never stop dreaming!


Some people follow athletes because their fast, win, have the best record, or have a big name with the media.  I follow Diana Nyad for what she stands for.  Here is a 17 min. video about Diana.  I loved it because it shows how she really is.  Definitely worth watching.  Keep on inspiring Diana!

Ironman Texas 2012

Why an Ironman?

 

I think that's where this race report needs to begin.  I wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that question.  Most of the time I just shrugged with the usual, "I don't know" and other times I responded with, "why not?".  The truth is, in November 2010, I completed my first marathon at the R&R San Antonio.  I decided it would be cool to keep my running base and train for a half Iron.  In April 2011 I completed my first half Ironman at the Galveston 70.3.  When I was done, I remember being quite sure that I would never attempt a full Ironman.  In fact it seemed unreal, unreachable, and completely ridiculous.  But something happened to me.  I couldn't go for a swim, bike, or run without it constantly being on my mind.  Could I do it?  Was it possible?  It just wouldn't go away.  It kept working on me until I finally went to my husband and asked him what he thought.  I'm not fast at anything I do.  I have to work hard to maintain a 2 min. average on a swim, a 16.0 on a bike ride, and a 9:50 on the run.  I don't have strength and speed but I have will and heart.  Would that be enough?  Before I knew it, we were looking at venues.  We had it narrowed down to IM Texas or IM Florida.  There were two factors in the final determination.  I didn't want to deal with the logistics of flying with my bike and all my gear and I had heard that the swim in Florida could get quite choppy.  Done!  IMTX it is then!  My goal was set for 16:59:59.  This would be a completely new animal to me. 

Swim 2.4 miles, Bike 112 miles, Run 26.2 miles....people think that's what it's all about and they say, "Damn, that's crazy!"  That's not even close to crazy.  For me, it wasn't all about that day.  It was everything it took to get to that day.  Getting to that starting line was the hardest thing I have ever done.  Training for such an event takes about a year for most.  My actual training plan was only 20 weeks due to the fact that I started with a strong half iron base.  A usual training day for me was waking up at 3am to get my first work out in, getting to work by 6:30am, working 10 hours until 4:30pm, doing a second work out after work, kids homework, laundry, keeping the house up, and in bed by 9pm so I could get at least 6 hours of sleep.  Amazingly, my body did adjust.  It took everyone in the family to be on the same page.  We established a pretty good routine and it worked.  It wasn't all about me.  My kids, husband, and parents lived IM for 20 weeks.  I could not have done it without them. 

I was amazed at how fast time flew by.  I was also amazed at how calm I was as the last few weeks crept up.  At the beginning of my taper I got the stomach flu.  A week later I came down with bronchitis.  This was so touchy as most allergy/cold meds pull water from your system and can cause terrible muscle cramps.  Not something I needed going into a very long and hot day of racing.  All I could think of was how hard I worked to get to that point.  Quitting was not an option!  The calm came from my realization that this was not a variable I could control.  I put in the training and there was nothing more I could do except pray and trust my training. 

My husband, daughter, and I traveled to the event on Wednesday night, right after work.  Thursday morning I woke up to see that literally the whole town was involved in this huge event.  I was calm at check in.  The volunteers were so much more knowledgeable about the event than at other triathlons I had been to.  They were really polite and took such great care of the athletes.   I'm pretty organized and thrive on structure.  Ironman was making some serious points with me.  A lady handed me a really nice transition backpack.  It was embroidered with IMTX 2012.  I just stood and stared at her.  She had to say, "Honey, this is your bag, everything you need is inside.  Double check it before you leave."  Holy crap...this thing is money, it was my very first piece of IM gear, and it was free!  OK, it wasn't free.  I dropped some serious money to just enter this crazy race.  But it was soooo cool!

Thursday night, they had a very nice dinner for athletes. I quickly decided that being around a bunch of high stress people was not where I needed to be. We ended up eating on our own and returning for the mandatory athlete meeting. Here is where my stressed ramped up. I knew this swim was not going to be wet suit legal. I trained in OW without one. Suddenly, the official announces that you can wear a wet suit. If you choose to do so, you will start 10 min. behind, you won't be eligible for Kona, you will still get the full 2:20 to do the swim, but you will have to make up your 10 min time deficit on the bike. Decisions, decisions! This threw me into a tail spin. I spent time on the phone with a friend and texted another. I still couldn't decide what to do!

Friday morning I swam for 20 minutes, rode my bike one last time, and checked it in to T1.  I dropped my bike and run bags off and headed back to the hotel.  There was no standing around for me.

 
Saturday morning was a no brainer.  I woke up and went to the event.  I had nothing to worry about.  They had all my stuff.  It was time to walk to the swim start and my OCD kicked in.  I told my husband that I needed to look at my bike one more time and check my bike/run bags too.  "Cristal, are you sure you want to do that?  Everything is fine and people are walking to the swim start now.?"  Back into T1 I went.  My bike was fine.  My hands began to shake as I untied my bike/run bags.  What the heck was I looking for?  I was prepared!  I was ready!



At the swim start the stress was so thick you could cut it with a knife.  I kept thinking, "Just let me swim, I can do this!"  I turned my special needs bags in and at the last minute put my wet suit on.  The best thing I heard was the announcer say, "If you choose to wear a wet suit, YOU WILL STILL BE AN IRONMAN AT THE END OF THE DAY!" 



Into the water we went.  Athletes began to talk and move around in the water based on how they planned to start.  I was surrounded by men.  I saw very few pink caps.  People were already hanging on to the canoes in the water.  I felt unusually calm.  The cannon sounded and all crazy broke out.  People went out so hard.  It wasn't long before some were hanging onto boats and even crawling out of the water.  This was a very close contact swim.  Wearing my wet suit was the best decision ever.  At one point I could feel someone grab me and pull me backwards as they swam over me.  Every time I was pushed under, I popped right back up and was able to maintain good swimming form.  After about 500 meters, I was able to relax.  I felt like I found a hole to swim in.  We caught up to some of the non-wetsuit swimmers that were struggling.  That was another moment of crazy as people were swimming sideways.  We made our final turn into the canal and it was like putting a bunch of live sardines into a can and slamming the lid shut.  I was hit in the back of the head several times, kicked in the face twice, and the fight for the swim finish was on!  The best part of the swim was when I was in the canal.  As I raised to breathe, I somehow caught a glimpse of my daughter on shore.  I smiled and waved mid stroke.  She alerted Scott and that gave me everything I needed to get to the end of the swim.  How did I manage to see her through all that chaos and out of all those people?




T1 was smooth.  Again, the volunteers were amazing.  I grabbed my bike bag and headed to the tent.  A volunteer showed up out of nowhere and calmly started handing me stuff out of my bag.  She sprayed my entire body with sunblock and away I went.  I was so thankful for her!

The bike was amazing!  The Woodlands are so beautiful!  I remember thinking, "TRG would tear this course up!"  I hydrated, I went pee twice, I ate, and I rode smart.  There were times I felt I had more to give, but I knew my bike would determine my run.  I had a low moment between 60-80 miles but was able to get beyond it.  I was amazed at how much traffic was stopped for us to pass.  There were hundreds of cars parked on the street and people even got out of their cars to cheer us on.  It was HOT!  I had just 10 miles to go.  I started taking on more fluid and additional fuel so I would be ready for my run.  I was at the point where I wanted off my bike in a bad way.  I drank but could not swallow.  I ate, but it wouldn't go down.  I spit my fuel out and thought, "What's going on?"  I did a quick assessment of my body.  Was it heat, too much fluid, too many carbs?  I wasn't bonking because I know what that feels like.  In the last couple miles of the bike I began to dry heave.  I knew if I could just get off the bike, I'd be fine. 



T2 was easy.  I saw quite a bit of vomit on the ground and chose my transition place carefully.  I felt so good to be off the bike!  By coming in early on the swim and bike, I was relaxed in knowing that I had time in the bank for the run.



The start of the run was in the direct sun.  I scooted along and gave my legs time to get into a  rhythm.  Suddenly at .5 miles, the bottom fell out.  I began to dry heave again.  My breathing was fast and I could feel my anxiety increasing.  I felt like crap!  If I could not get myself to calm down, I knew I was in for a good asthma attack.  I walked.  I was not getting better.  I could hear myself breathing so hard.  I grabbed the guardrail of an overpass in fear that I was about to go down.  My thinking was that if I fell, medical would call my race and it would all be over.  If I stayed upright, I was still in the game.  Don't cry Cristal!  Dig deep!  I couldn't have been on the guardrail for more than 20 seconds or so.  I felt an arm hook my elbow and a man quietly said, "Walk with me."  He literally pulled me away from the guardrail.  I began walking with him and I listened to him talk about how hot it was.  He said he was having a bad day.  I was one step behind him because I couldn't even keep up with his walking pace.  I could see he was wearing a long sleeve white sun shirt, black tri shorts, and the number 60 on the back of his left leg.  Once I was able to talk without sounding like a fool, I told him I was dry heaving and could not swallow.  He said, "When you come to the next aid station, you are going to squeeze an orange, eat two potato chips, drink Coke, and rinse your mouth with water."  I thought this guy was crazy.  I asked him if he had done IM before.  Turns out he was an 8 time finisher, all under 12 hours except his last which was just under 14 and today he was just simply having a bad day.  We did the math together and he convinced me that if I kept his pace, we could walk the entire marathon and get to mile 17 before the cut off.  So we walked.  We finally hit the shade and there was a descent.  I still felt like crap, but I thought I could run.  I told the man that I was going to try to run/walk the descent.  He said, "Great, I'll see you at the next aid station."  I got to the next aid station where I did exactly what he told me to do.  I began to feel better and better.  I hit every aid station and maintained the orange, potato chip, Coke, and rinse routine.  I never saw this man again.  I never saw his bib number and I never saw his face, but I can still hear his voice in my head. 

I went into the last lap with a hug from my girl.  How all those miles ticked by, I still don't know.  I remember thinking, "How am I doing this?  How am I still running?  I can't believe I'm running a marathon on potato chips and Coke!"  This was the hardest part of the race for me to process.  The brain has a funny way of eliminating pain.
 

 

The sun had set and the spectators either went home or went to the finish line.  I could hear the thump of the music and the roar of the crowd.  I knew I was getting close.  Yes!  I saw the woman that yelled, "Finishers to your right, runners to your left!"  I ran down a huge chute of people that were reaching out to high five me.  The energy was overwhelming.  Suddenly an official was standing at the bottom of the chute, he congratulated me and then told me to turn around the cone in the street and go up the hill to the finish.  Any other time I would have said, "Hill?  Come on!"  But you tend to dig deep when people are yelling at you.  My legs were numb and my focus was on trying not to trip.  It was dark by now, but the lights were very bright.  I crossed the finish line with my hands held high to the sound of "CRISTAL MISPLAY OF ROUND ROCK, TEXAS...YOU....ARE...AN IRONMAN!  Who can handle that without shedding a tear of joy?  A very nice lady grabbed me around my torso to support me.  She immediately asked me if I needed medical attention.  My first thought was, "Wow, she's touching my nasty, stinky, sticky, salty body!  This lady rocks!"  I told her I was good.  Someone reached over and put a medal around my neck.  She made me drink some water, stood me to the side where someone snapped my picture.  She gave me a finisher's shirt and finisher's hat which was like gold to me.  She showed me where the meeting area was and away I went to find my family and friends.  Seeing Scott and Janell made it complete.  I could only imagine how long their day was and they were with me the whole way.  Seeing my friend Troy who was yelling, "Sub 14!", was awesome.  It takes a special person to be there to meet the needs of an athlete both mentally and physically and I am thankful to have found that in my family and friends. 

 






The best part of the night was being showered and in bed before the midnight cut off.  How in the world did I ever do that?  My husband says it was the training and work.  I know I put the work in...oh how I know that for a fact.  My heart says it is a higher power who was with me every step of the way.  I have moments where I question my sanity on the run in that very low moment.  Who was that man?  Why did he care and why did he pull me off that rail and give me direction?  He was my angel.  To God be the glory for all that I am and all that I do.

The morning after

Ironman Texas 2012 Video

It's Like a Blur

It's been just 3 days since I crossed the finish line.  There is so much to process and wrap my mind around.  Until I get my race report together, here is a very cool video of the day that I am so proud to have been a part of.

http://youtu.be/W1g36EPI1Uk

The Home Stretch

Last weekend was the end of my build training.  I finished with 106 miles on the bike, 18 mile run, and 4300y swim.  It was so hot and windy.  I'm thankful for it because now I know I've trained in the worst conditions and if it's windy on race day, I know I can power through it.  Other than lead legs, I feel great!  I'm so blessed to have made it this far without any serious injury.

This is uncharted territory.  I'm trying so hard to trust my training.  I feel like I'm constantly doing the math in my head...how fast, what time, cutoffs, people, weather, OH MY!  I wish I was strong in at least one of the events....just one would be nice, but I'm not.  I'll be fighting the clock from the start.  Slow and steady wins the race...right?

With two weeks left to go, the swim weighs the heaviest on my mind.  I know, without a doubt that I can make the distance.  The questions is, can I make that distance with all those other people packed in like sardines?  And can I make it by the cutoff?  Just thinking about it wads up my nerves.  What will be...will be.

Praying that this is true!  Come what may...I will not give up!  I will not quit!  

Are We There Yet?

Four weeks out and yes, I'm scared!  Last week I looked at the final 5 weeks of my plan and freaked out!  My peak seemed to come too soon, my taper seemed too long, and I was clueless how to fix it.  I have experience with endurance, but this is a different animal.  I turned to my friend who has been doing IM for 10+ years.  He graciously jumped in with both feet and after a week of emailing documents back and forth and chatting about this and that, my anxiety level is back in check and I feel so much better. 

Yep, there it is, the last 5 weeks of this adventure.  Make that 4 weeks because I just finished my first of two big weeks by volume.  Yesterday I rode 85 miles (40+ into a nasty head wind) with a 3 mile brick.  Today I ran 16 and swam 3650.  I was supposed to swim 4000, but I've been sick and somehow at 3650 I just crawled out of the pool mumbling all kinds of stuff I shall not repeat. 

I've had a lot of time to try new things, do my own research, and kick things to the curb.  Here are the things I think are cool and work for me.

My Mizuno Wave Inspire 8's.  I have this awesome red, white, and blue, a spring white and purple, and a really obnoxious blue/green color.  I need to accessorize!  

The TYR Torque speed suit.  I am very doubtful that IMTX will be wetsuit legal.  I've heard that the lake is usually warm year round.  So I will be wearing this speed suit over my tri suit to prevent drag and compress my core a little more through the long swim.  

Goggles have been a pain in the rump.  I have been using the TYR NestPro for....like ever.  They are a great OW goggle with a good deal of comfort.  While swimming laps one day, my fairly new set began to leak.  So naturally I freaked out.  This can't happen on race day.  I did a ton of research and bought the latest technology and top of the line goggles.  Blueseventy, Aquasphere, Zoggs, and Speedo.  Aquasphere leaked horribly...even the small ones.  Blueseventy does not make a goggle small enough for my face.  Zoggs were ginormous.  Speedo worked for a few swims and then started to leak.  $100 later I bought a new pair of my old goggles.  Yep...they are the best!  To sum it up...this was all total nonsense.

 

This is the race kit I'll be wearing.  Sorry, no TRG.  My TRG kit is awesome for shorter races and I prefer a one piece kit, but for this event I think a two piece is really important.  I tried on a lot of new kits and SOAS was the best as far as female fit and hey....it's still TRG colors.

This little thing is sweet!  I'm not big into gadgets and it took me a while to learn how to use my 500, but the Garmin 900XT is AMAZING!  I learned how to use it in just a couple of work outs.  It's very user friendly and does all three sports.  Comfortable, not huge, and it swims!  Love it!

 

Hill Country Running Company held a Triggerpoint class put on by a sports medicine doctor.  I dragged a friend with me and although we both thought it was extremely painful, we could feel the benefits.  I bought a kit and have been pretty faithful with rolling out both before and after hard workouts.  I am a believer!

PB & J...I eat it every day.  I have my own jar in my classroom and yes, I double dip!  :)  I know some people have snubbed comments at me for not being social at lunch.  I eat in my classroom.  I'm kind of done with people starring at, questioning, and making comments about my food.  I have a hard time eating meals right now and pretty much eat all day long in small portions.  If I can't eat, I drink my food.  I've been able to maintain my weight quite well through this process and it's working for me.  Besides, it's my 20 minutes of peace and quiet.  Most of the time I can get one more thing done and that's one less thing I have to do at the end of the day. 

One more really heavy weekend is in my sights.  Even if I don't pull this thing off on May 19, I've done the training.  Every last little bit of it....3 am/4 days a week, 2 a days, 3 a days, and all that comes with IM training.  For that I am thankful for.  I HAVE trained for an IM.  That is something in itself.

I rode with a friend this last weekend who reminded me that I hadn't blogged in a while.  I wish I had more time, but I suppose if I did, I'd choose to sleep or love on my family just a little bit more.  Training isn't the problem.  Work isn't the problem.  Family definitely isn't the problem.  Time...there's not enough time!

I don't even know what week it is, but I do know I'm past the half way mark.  Training Peaks keeps me honest and thank goodness it's on my iPhone.  I check often to see what I'm supposed to be doing and when I'm supposed to be doing it.  Sometimes I'll pull up the date and suddenly gasp out loud, "What?" as if it's wrong or something.  But after a few minutes, I take it all in and convince myself that I can do it.

The weather has turned warm and humid.  It's like we had really cold weather...and now warm.  Why isn't there an in between? And if there was an in between, why can't it last for more than a day?  Well one thing is consistent for sure.  The wind by golly!  We've got wind and you can count on it all the time!  The humidity has zapped my times quite a bit and has left me feeling a little defeated on workouts that should have felt somewhat easy.  I guess I'm getting ready to embrace the SUCK.  :)  Race day is sure to be warm and humid and I'm counting on the wind to be there.

I must say training is going well.  I feel good!  I'm not "technically" injured in any way.  It takes me a while to get moving on my feet now and then, I have my "Oh my gosh that hurts" moments every week, but my body is holding together quite well....for the time being.  How ever far it let's me go....it will have been further than I've ever been in the past and that I am happy and thankful for.

Other things I am thankful for:  My husband that talks me out of crazy each week when I think I'm about to lose it.  My son who tells me it's OK to take a bite of junk food now and then.  My daughter who is swimming with me now and bless her heart she endures the long swims.  My dog who has done such a great job protecting me on dark early morning runs.  My dad who I so enjoy riding with and I can only win a sprint with if I play dirty.  My mom who just simply does not question my sanity.  My sister who I am more alike than I ever realized and it scares the crap out of me.  My friends who don't laugh at my goggle marks anymore.  My hair stylist who fought hard but finally cut all my hair off.  My riding group who doesn't expect something more from me.  My foot doctor who remains quiet, but knows the day is coming.  Kelly, who stops by my classroom now and then to make me laugh and remind me that it doesn't all need to be that serious!  I could go on because there is so much to be thankful for each and every day.  Most of all for Jesus Christ who will never change even though everything around me threatens to change daily.  He is my constant.  He is all I need.